I just got from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
Patient: "I have ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer."
There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from law school.
Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie? It is called "Debbie Does Dishes."