Matrices: What mathematicians sleep on.
Line: The king of the jungle.
Inverse: How a mathematical poet writes.
Paradox: Two MDs.
Rectangle: An angle that's been in an accident.
Secant: Why the girl didn't run a 4-minute mile.
Tangent: A sunburned man.
Topologist: A mathematician who can't tell a coffee cup from a doughnut.
Unit: What you do with needles and yarn.
Zenophobia: The irrational fear of convergent sequences.
A pastor, a doctor, and a mathematician were stuck behind a slow foursome while playing golf. The greens keeper noticed their frustration and explained to them, "The slow group ahead of you is a bunch of blind firemen. The lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free. The pastor responded, "That's terrible! I'll say a prayer for them." The doctor said, "I'll contact my ophthalmologist friends and see if there is something that can be done for them." The mathematician asked, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
An abacus is one tool you can always count on.