Member of Parliament to Disraeli: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.
Disraeli: That depends, Sir, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.
Walter Kerr: He had delusions of adequacy.
William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway: He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
Moses Hadas: Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.
Mark Twain: I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Oscar Wilde: He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.
Winston Churchill: Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there is one.
Stephen Bishop: I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.
John Bright: He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
IrwinCobb: I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Mae West: His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Andrew Lang: He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts . . . for support rather than illumination.
Billy Wilder: He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
Groucho Marx: I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it.
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